Meet Jessica

Jessica Lauren, the founder of  The Happiness Movement powered by 1, 2, 3 Happy, and author of 1,095 Reasons to be Happy: Your Gratitude Journal, has a decade of experience in print journalism and motivational speaking. Her work has appeared in numerous daily and weekly web outlets, local magazines and newspapers.

She has appeared on local news channels and has spent the last five years engaging with people of all ages, economic strata, and backgrounds to research individuals who lead lives full of accomplishment and inspiration.

She travels to give monthly talks about happiness from her home in Los Angeles and has started the widely popular Happiness Movement to help people find and define their happiness and spread it to others. Her interests include researching human potential, art and outdoor pursuits. Currently, she is involved in what she believes to be her life’s work: helping others find and define what makes them happy.

Become a Happiness Rockstar

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We know that being happy can make us healthier, but what if our health and happiness was less about what we did and more about our hearts?

New Year’s Resolution/Happiness

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It’s on everyone’s minds as the clock sticks twelve: New Year’s Resolutions. But often our intention to stick with our goals peter out around the second week in January. Yet it’s easier than you may think to accomplish all your New Year’s Resolutions goals.

3 Secrets to Happiness

#1 Secret: Know Yourself

In fact, knowing yourself is so important that many happiness experts, such as Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, believe it is the sole secret to true happiness. But knowing ourselves goes beyond our likes and dislikes—it includes the good, the bad and the ugly.

If not, we may be making decisions counter-intuitive to our own happiness. Like pursing a career because it pays our bills, not because it will make us happy.

#2 Secret: Talking to Your Friends

It may seem that the more friends you have the happier you can become. But happiness is directly related to the closeness of your friendships and relationships and how often you engage with them.

A study published in the American Sociological Review by Chaeyoon Lim, and Robert D. Putnam, “Religion, Social Networks, and Life Satisfaction,” found that churchgoers are happier than non-churchgoers. Not because religion necessarily makes people happier, but because people who attend church are more likely to form closer relationships based on similar interests and beliefs, plus they meet up regularly.

The study points out, though, that even if church is not your cup of tea, having close friends who share similar interests as you and regularly hanging with them can make you happier.

#3 Secret: Doing Your Happiness on a Daily Basis

Happiness is impossible without consistent action towards it. And doing your happiness is easier than you may think. Choose an activity which enhances your life in one or all three of these areas: time, money and/or support. Everyone, including you, could use more time, money and support. So this is your opportunity to do activities that give you these enhancements.

For example: if your happiness is surfing and you decide to teach surf lessons you are then enhancing your life by making more money. Then it’s setting aside five minutes to one hour a day to engage in the activity(s) that make you happier.

The Dalai Lama says, “Critical thinking followed by action is the most important thing we can do now. There is no such thing as a tiny act.” Successive, positive and small steps lead to big happy results.

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3 Ways to Have a Happier Marriage

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One of the biggest reasons marriages fail is because of unhealthy conflicts. To have a happier marriage try these three simple communication techniques:

1. 5:1 Ratio

Ever been in a fight and everything you do/did was wrong and bad? This is not only damaging to the relationship, but also hurtful. To avoid this unpleasant situation, it has been proven that having a 5:1 ratio of five positive comments to one negative comment produces the happiest outcomes to conflicts.

For example: if you wanted to tell your partner they are ‘messy,’ you would first say five positive statements and then the one negative behavior. You could say, “You’re kind, caring, a great cook, smart, and amazing, (five positives) but you’re messy (one negative).” This helps the other person understand exactly, without a doubt, what they are doing right and what they need to work on.

2. It’s me, not you.

Taking responsibility for your feelings and actions will help smooth a heated argument. The best way to do this is using “I statements.” I statements begin with “I” feel, think, and/or believe and end with the undesirable action.

For example: you could say, “I feel hurt when you don’t make the bed.” By using I statements, you are putting more emphasis on your feelings and this allows the other person to feel less defensive and more understanding of your position in the conflict.

3. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Often in an argument, people want to get their point across and to be heard. To continue a healthier and happier conflict, you can repeat (summarize) what the other person said. Not only does this show active listening skills, but also helps find a solution faster.

For example: if your partner had a bad day at work you could say, “It sounds like you had a bad day at work. I’m sorry.” This turns down the heat of the conflict to avoid it spiraling out of control.

Happy marriages and relationships start with good communication and listening skills. From there, almost any conflict can be resolved over time.

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